The Paperweight
by Litny
Summary: The first time Kakashi laid eyes on Iruka's paperweight, he thought it had to have been the most hideous thing ever created. So why in the world is everyone fighting over it? KakaIru. Rated for language and adult themes.


**AN: **Yo.

**Warnings: **This is a slash fic, people. Yaoi. Dude-love. You get the picture, eh? If you're uncomfortable with that idea, then this is not the fic for you and you probably should turn back. If you're open minded, though, then proceed. That said, the rating is for language and implied sexual themes.

**Notes: **Set in the time-gap between Naruto and Shippuden. This is not a "Gifts-verse" fic. I had originally thought of somehow incorporating the paperweight into that story but it was just too silly and it wouldn't fit into the timeline of events I have laid out for "Gifts." Thus, I'm turning it into a short story while I stew over what the hell I'm trying to accomplish in "Gifts." Don't worry for those who have been waiting with baited breath for the next installment of "Gifts"; it's forthcoming. I promise. I should have it posted by Monday morning (my time).

**Additional: **For those following "Gifts" this is _**not **_the story I mentioned at the beginning of Chapter Nine. This is something else that popped into my mind one night at work while sleep deprived and buzzed on pure mocha frappe mix (my job is awesome). The idea stuck with me and now I have to write it down.

**Also: **I've never written a one-shot before. Seriously. I thought about making this a one-shot but found I just cannot do it. Therefore, I'm going to consider this a short story instead. It'll only be a couple chapters long, though, so nothing major. As usual, I appreciate any help finding typos. Thanks for reading.

**Update: ** An anonymous reviewer pointed out an inconsistency in what I wrote and, after careful consideration, I realized I was being a total derp. I've fixed it and I'll try much harder to not contradict myself in the future. Thanks!

* * *

**Chapter One: The Paperweight**

The first time Kakashi laid eyes on Iruka's paperweight, he thought it had to have been the most hideous thing ever created. It was essentially just a river rock, round and smooth, about the size of a pork bun. By itself, it would not have been even remotely noteworthy and Kakashi would have wondered why Iruka chose to put such a boring rock on the corner of his classroom desk. No, the thing that made it horribly unattractive was the decorations that had been adhered to the poor lump of stone. Between the gold and silver glitter-glue, the neon-dyed feathers, and the mis-matched googley eyes, it was downright frightening how ugly the unfortunate rock appeared.

He had decided to merely ignore its presence whenever he visited Iruka at work since he went there so seldom. Kakashi usually avoided dropping in on Iruka while the man was teaching. Their relationship wasn't a secret, per say, but it tended to make some of the older members of society uncomfortable and that could, in turn, give the shinobi a bad reputation, especially since one of them happened to head the Academy. Iruka wasn't necessarily at risk of losing his position but he didn't want any of his students' parents to pull their children from the school just because of something as stupid as a gay teacher.

There were days, however, where Kakashi felt like he couldn't wait until after Iruka's shift to see the younger man. This was typically the case when the jonin returned from extended missions away from Konoha. Some days he wouldn't even head home first to put his bag down but b-line for the Academy, ignoring everything until after he'd gotten a chance to hug his most precious person. This usually resulted in a mixture of giggles and catcalls from Iruka's students; Kakashi didn't bother to wait until Iruka's class let out to appear suddenly behind his love, arms wrapped around the indignantly squeaking educator. The elbow to the gut he would receive was totally worth it.

It was about mid-September when Kakashi slogged his way into town after a particularly time-consuming escort job. It had rained the entire way to the northern border and the entire way back home. By the time he wandered in through the front gates, the Copy-Nin was miserably wet and cold. He hated being cold. All he wanted was a hot bath, a hot meal, and a hot Iruka, although not necessarily in that order.

Despite the rain pelting down upon him, Kakashi dismissed any thoughts of heading to the apartment. Instead, his feet took him along the familiar route through town toward the compound that housed the Academy. It felt like it took forever before the Hokage Tower loomed ahead and by the time Kakashi yanked open the door to the Academy, he was incredibly impatient to see his partner. He debated flickering in to surprise the younger nin but the trip back home had been draining and Kakashi just didn't feel like expending the chakra needed to do it. Instead, he slid the door open and slouched his way into the classroom.

A couple pairs of eyes lifted to glance his way before lowering back to the desktops. The abnormally quiet student body - ten-year-olds if Kakashi was any judge of age - were scribbling frantically on sheets of paper in front of them. A note on the blackboard read "My Shinobi Way" in Iruka's precise handwriting - Kakashi always marveled at how the instructor could be so tidy with chalk - and indicated that they had one hour to compose their essay. Kakashi was glad he'd decided against his surprise entrance if the kids were in the middle of a mid-term; Iruka would have been furious if the jonin had caused a ruckus.

The chunin in question was bent over one of the desks at the front of the room, whispering with a student that had apparently had a question. There was a lot of nodding and an encouraging smile before Iruka straightened. Only once his student had been dealt with did Iruka bother to send a half-hearted glare in Kakashi's direction. It was apparent from the younger man's expression that he was trying to sort through the typical mix of emotions that accompanied Kakashi's intrusion into his classroom. Iruka was relieved to see the jonin had returned safely from his mission but he was never pleased with Kakashi interrupting class. Finally, the positive won out and the instructor smiled that soft smile he reserved for the older man.

In the abbreviated hand signals Konoha shinobi used to silently communicate during missions, Iruka flashed Kakashi a greeting, followed by an admonishment. _You're dripping on my floor_, he fwipped with a mock-scowl.

Kakashi grinned with his eye before moving to the instructor's desk. He shrugged off his bag and then flopped down into the chair. _Now I'm dripping on your seat_, he signaled with a cheeky wink. Even though the standard person wouldn't be able to tell that Kakashi wasn't just blinking, Iruka was familiar enough with Kakashi's mannerisms to know the intended gesture.

_Go home_, Iruka's hands snapped as the younger nin shook his head, eyes rolling. _Testing._

Kakashi shook his head firmly. He dug around in his pack for a moment before pulling an annoyingly orange book from a waterproof pouch inside. He settled himself back to read when a tanned hand invaded his space, snatching the novel from Kakashi's cold fingers.

_Not in my class. _Iruka glared at the jonin and shoved the book under his flak jacket where Kakashi couldn't get to it without some effort. The deflated look on the Copy-Nin's face was met with a stubborn frown. Even though Kakashi could easily have overpowered the slightly shorter man and reclaimed his book, he had promised Iruka that he would never do anything that would lessen the chunin in the eyes of his students.

Outside of the classroom, the jonin was _the _Sharingan no Kakashi, the Copy-Ninja of a Thousand Jutsu, known in all the greater and lesser shinobi hidden villages. He was a force to be reckoned with; a figure to be feared and avoided. Inside that room, though, he was merely Iruka-sensei's boyfriend. He was still awe-inspiring to the students, but in a much different way. It had come as a shock to the kids to discover that the infamous Hatake Kakashi would sit quietly, obeying _their _chunin instructor. By showing Iruka a high level of respect and courtesy while in the classroom, Kakashi elevated the younger nin in the eyes of the students. If even _Kakashi _of all people did as Iruka said, then their teacher must have been formidable indeed.

Without his book to occupy him, the older man studied the desk with curious eyes. He opened a couple drawers, pawing through the contents somewhat absently. He found an open bag of green-tea chews in the bottom drawer and, dipping his head to avoid being seen by straying student eyes, he pulled his mask down long enough to pop a couple of the candies into his mouth. Snapping the material back into place, he straightened and chewed contentedly. He wasn't terribly partial to sweets but the exasperated look on Iruka's face was worth a little bit of sugar.

Kakashi turned his attention to the desktop next once the contents of the drawers were thoroughly inspected. Tidy stacks of paper sat in various positions on the surface: worksheets, turned-in assignments, extra tests. There was nothing out of the ordinary there. A timer sat at the front-most edge of the desk, ticking away the time remaining for the test. Kakashi watched as Iruka noted that time.

"You have ten minutes," the instructor spoke suddenly, his voice even and strong. "Finish up your closing statements. When you're done, you may turn your essay in on the desk and leave. Be prepared to start the oral presentations on Monday; the order will be randomized so do not forget to come in with all your materials."

Kakashi half-closed his eye, letting the sound roll over him with a satisfied sigh. Iruka was using his teacher's voice. Kakashi loved his teacher's voice. It had that commanding quality that created focus. It was demanding, firm, and consistent. And damn sexy when Iruka used it in the bedroom. A tasty curl of pleasure twisted in Kakashi's lower abdomen at the thought that perhaps he could get Iruka to use it that evening when they got home. The jonin simply could not resist anything Iruka wanted when he used that tone.

Shaking himself from the distracting thoughts - he could feel his groin tighten at the mental images he was entertaining and it would not be a good idea to allow himself a full-on erection while sitting in Iruka's classroom - Kakashi let his eyes wander to the last object on the chunin's desk: the hideous paperweight. He curled a lip under the mask at the sight of the garish rock. It looked so out-of-place next to the otherwise utilitarian layout of the desk, like a soy sauce stain on a white yukata. Iruka was not the kind to be taken by flamboyant decoration if their apartment was anything to go by so why in the world did he allow that stupid paperweight to remain where it was?

Kakashi guessed it was probably from a student. If there was one thing that Iruka could not resist, it was a gift from one of "his kids." While most of their apartment was adorned in tasteful decor - such as the kabuki fans in the bathroom or the landscapes in the living room, the refrigerator was plastered with drawings from Iruka's pre-genin. Kakashi thought it was rather cute and, although Iruka had initially not wanted to intrude on Kakashi's previously bare 'fridge front when they'd moved in together, Kakashi insisted that Iruka had to display them. It was his home, too, after all.

The sound of shuffling feet met his ears and Kakashi tore his eyes away from the feathered rock to watch as a few of the students came forward to turn in their tests. They dropped the papers into a wire basket and moved quickly and quietly from the room. The rest of the kids were still writing furiously as their timer ticked down. They still had a good five minutes.

With a bored sigh, Kakashi decided to check the rock to see if maybe the gifting culprit had left their name on the bottom. It wasn't as if he was going to use that information to track the kid down and threaten him or her should they ever think to make something so ugly again; he was merely curious. He let his hand close over the top of the stone, making a hidden face at the slightly tacky feel of the glitter-glue under his fingertips, and made to lift the paperweight toward him. His eye widened slightly when it didn't budge. Had someone glued it there and that was why Iruka refused to get rid of it? Narrowing his eye suspiciously, Kakashi leaned forward in the chair and gave the rock an experimental tug; it sat resolutely on the desk, not even slightly affected by the strong grip of the jonin.

Kakashi tilted his head at the rock, bemused. Carefully, he pushed up the edge of his hitai-ate so just the bare minimum of his sharingan was able to peek out underneath the band. His eyebrows nearly shot under his hairline as the eye revealed a thin, glowing sheen of chakra shimmering on the rock. He slid the forehead protector back into place and sent a look toward the instructor. Iruka had his back turned to the desk, watching his students like a hawk.

"Two minute warning," Iruka intoned, standing with his hands clasped behind his back, his stance wide and stable. The timer ticked solemnly. A couple panicky students starting writing with enough fervor that it was a miracle their papers didn't combust. Kakashi sat back in the chair and waited impatiently for those last two minutes to pass; he had a very important question to ask Iruka and, considering it would probably put the other man on the spot, it was best to wait until they were alone.

It felt like forever before the little box started to buzz and Kakashi smacked it quickly to stop the annoying noise. The abrupt sounds of both the alarm and Kakashi's hand hitting the box startled a couple of the students and they looked toward the desk in dismay. Slowly, they started to gather their belongings and trudge to the front of the room to turn in their papers. As they left the room, Kakashi thought they looked a lot like they were heading for the gallows. Apparently this mid-term was incredibly important if they looked like kicked puppies for not finishing.

Finally, as the last pair of adolescent shoes disappeared down the corridor outside, the shoji-style door sliding shut behind them, Kakashi leveled Iruka with a sharp gaze. "Why," he asked slowly, his tone firm, "is your ugly pet rock glowing with chakra?"

Iruka blinked in surprise, obviously not expecting that question. His eyes darted to the offending object as he snatched up the papers in the basket. He shuffled them together before leaning across Kakashi to open the top drawer of his desk. Kakashi suspected that Iruka was being deliberately slow in answering the question as the chunin pulled out a binder-clip to fasten the stack of tests together.

"Well," Iruka murmured after he had placed the papers into a satchel leaned against the desk leg. "It's to prevent it from being taken."

Kakashi grimaced at the stone, the expression reaching his eye as he flicked at one of the hot-pink feathers with long fingers. "Who in the world would want to steal this?"

"You'd be surprised," Iruka replied. He moved away from his bag to stand between Kakashi's legs. Placing his hands firmly on the armrests of the chair, Iruka leaned over the jonin and ghosted a light kiss on his cloth-covered lips. "Welcome home, by the way," he whispered before using a finger to pull down the mask and repeat the action. Kakashi's arms shot out, pulling the slightly shorter man onto his lap. Iruka balanced there a little awkwardly - the chair really wasn't designed well for their position - before shoving himself off the older nin. He smiled, though, and held a hand down to help Kakashi to his feet.

Kakashi returned the smile, accepting the hand up. Once standing, he proceeded to wrap his arms back around the chunin and bury his nose in the delicious smelling hair. He was tempted to steal Iruka's hair tie but decided against it as that would have involved letting go. "Missed you," he murmured into the locks as he felt Iruka's hands slide around his waist to return the embrace.

"Hm. Missed you more," Iruka replied. It may have been a nauseatingly mushy thing to say but it was part of their routine whenever either returned from an away-mission. The classroom was no longer a safe haven for the chunin; with the hit to their numbers, every capable shinobi had to take missions. Although he didn't have to do it as often as Kakashi, it did mean that Iruka was required to leave the village for periods of time on assignment.

Their touching moment was broken as Kakashi backed Iruka up against the edge of the desk, hooked the other man's legs behind the knees, and dumped the chunin onto the hard surface. With a predatory smirk, Kakashi leaned over the younger nin before Iruka could regain his feet, effectively pinning him to the desk with his upper body. He captured the chunin's lips, delving his tongue into the depths without any preamble. He had been gone for nearly two weeks; he was in no mood to take his time.

When Kakashi surfaced for air, Iruka looked breathless and thoroughly kissed. His lips were parted as he panted, his hair slightly mussed from where his head had rested against the desktop. He glared at the pale shinobi, though, smacking him on the shoulder with a fist.

"How many times do I have to tell you," Iruka hissed. "Not in my classroom! Someone could walk in at any moment."

Kakashi affected a pout. "But 'Ru," he protested, eye widening innocently. "Just a quickie? It's been twelve days."

Iruka glowered up at the jonin when Kakashi didn't make any move to let him off the desk. "_No_," he said firmly. "If someone walks in on us, I could lose my job."

Kakashi's response was to roll his hips against the younger man. The sudden reddening of Iruka's face told the silver-haired shinobi that Iruka had registered the solid press of Kakashi's erection through their uniform pants. "Wouldn't take much," the Copy-Nin continued, still rocking against his lover with slow, steady pushes. "Wouldn't even need to get naked. Just drop your pants a little bit. You know there's lube in my bag."

A gasp escaped the teacher as Kakashi's bit down on the pinna of his ear then ran a soothing tongue over the sensitive skin. "No," he said again but it didn't sound very convincing. Kakashi smirked into Iruka's jaw as a hard bulge pushed against his hip with the next rocking motion.

"Your body says differently," the jonin murmured, breathing into Iruka's ear. The man under him shuddered appreciatively and Kakashi brought his mouth back against the instructor's, nipping and sucking eagerly at the lips. "Come on, 'Ru," he continued persuasively between each tiny bite. "We've done it in stranger places than this. On top of the monument..." He licked a line along Iruka's jaw again before latching onto the tanned neck. "In Kanagura park..." He sucked lightly on the skin, feeling Iruka's pulse thrum under his lips. The chunin wriggled, small keens breaking past lips the younger man had clamped tightly shut. "That night when I took you in the missions room..."

Iruka bucked up against him as one of Kakashi's hands slipped down past the waistband of the instructor's pants. Strong fingers wrapped around his length and gave a gentle tug. "I'll even let you go first," Kakashi murmured into his chunin's ear, his voice taking on a particularly sultry tone that usually never failed to work.

Iruka had just opened his mouth to reply when the shoji slammed open. Both men nearly jumped out of their skin but relaxed slightly when Kotetsu charged into the room. The spiky-headed chunin skid to a halt in front of the desk, completely ignoring the fact that both the other men were flushed and that Kakashi had his hand down Iruka's pants. As the self-proclaimed best friend of the Academy instructor, and one of the resident man-whores of Konoha, nothing about Iruka's relationship with Kakashi fazed the laid-back chunin. He hadn't even batted an eye the first time he'd seen Kakashi maskless; Kotetsu had growled appreciatively then whisked Iruka off for another round of shots as they'd been at a bar at the time.

Right then, Kotetsu wasn't even looking at the jonin. Grinning like a maniac, he reached out and put his hand on the paperweight. Kakashi's eyebrows lifted as Kotetsu drew the gaudy bobble away from the desk without even an ounce of effort. With a laugh, the older chunin raced from the room. Right before he disappeared through the door, he called over his shoulder in a sing-song voice, "Onsen!" The door slid shut and he was gone, the ugly paperweight with him.

"What the _hell _just happened?" Kakashi demanded. Below him, Iruka was blushing an interesting shade of vermillion.

"Ah... I told you that you'd be surprised who would want to steal my rock," he muttered, rubbing at his scar furiously.

The Copy-Nin leaned back a little, hand drawing out of Iruka's pants. He may have thought the decoration was horrible, but it was still _Iruka's_. He felt a twinge of indignation that the smaller shinobi had appeared out of nowhere and taken it. The emotion was quickly followed by confusion that he had been able to take it at all when Kakashi had been unable to move the stone. True, he hadn't tried to release whatever jutsu had held the rock in place, but that was beside the point. Kotetsu hadn't done a release.

About to go after Kotetsu, Kakashi felt himself yanked forcefully back over Iruka. The dark-haired man's lips were pressed into a thin line, a determined look gleaming in his eyes. "Forget it," he ordered. "I have desk duty this evening; I'll just get it from him then." The instructor smirked then, pulling Kakashi down into an encouraging kiss. "Now, you said you had some lube?" he murmured into the jonin's lips. "Get it."

Kakashi's stomach clenched in eager anticipation. Iruka had used his teacher's voice.

* * *

The door to the apartment clicked closed and Kakashi poked his head out of the kitchen in time to see Iruka drop his bag next to the kotatsu. The jonin had mixed feelings as he watched Iruka set the hideous rock onto the low table. On one hand, Kakashi was glad Iruka had managed to steal back the paperweight. On the other hand, the Copy-Nin really did hate that damn thing. It looked even more out of place in their nice apartment than it did on Iruka's desk at the Academy. He glared at the rock for a split second before deciding to ignore its presence.

"Dinner will be ready in a couple minutes." Kakashi moved out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dish towel. He draped the cloth over his shoulder before wrapping his arms around Iruka's middle. The jonin buried his face in Iruka's neck, kissing a slow line along the pulse point. Iruka leaned into the administrations for a second before gently detaching himself from the older man.

"I'm going to change, then." A mischievous glint shone from the chunin's eyes. "I'm a bit sweaty from my afternoon workout."

Kakashi didn't bother to hide the ridiculously happy grin from his face as Iruka walked past him. The jonin smacked the younger man's ass before disappearing back into the kitchen to finish dinner. It was good to be back with his 'Ru. He had missed the playful banter just as much as he had missed the physical aspect of their relationship.

While the instructor changed into a clean pair of sweatpants and a ratty old t-shirt, Kakashi filled their plates with the pasta he had cooked up, saturating his with the white seafood-laden sauce he'd put together. He dressed Iruka's more sparsely - the man had once told Kakashi that he preferred his pasta to _not _resemble soup - and carried the dishes back out to the kotatsu. Placing the plates down in their designated seats - Kakashi always sat with his back to the kitchen so he could keep an eye on the front door and the windows of their living room, although he refused to admit that was the reason - and then eyed the distasteful rock that sat on the far corner. With a sigh, he reached down to move it off the kotatsu, not wanting to look at it while they ate.

It did not move.

Swearing under his breath, Kakashi yanked and still the stone sat impassively where Iruka had set it. "Seriously?" he snarled quietly, tugging uselessly at the paperweight. At the sound of Iruka's stifled giggles, Kakashi whipped his head toward their hallway, glaring at the chunin.

"You'll never move it," Iruka told him, still trying hard not to laugh aloud. The younger man walked over and effortlessly plucked the rock from the table. He moved to the secretary-desk set near the front door and placed the rock next to a stack of junk mail before returning to the table. He dropped down into his place and smiled up at Kakashi. "Smells delicious."

Kakashi sent a suspicious look at the rock on their catch-all table before folding his legs under him and sitting gracefully on Iruka's right. He watched the younger man dig into the pasta, his own plate forgotten in light of the mystery behind the irritating paperweight.

"How?" he asked bluntly, chin propped up on his hand, his elbow on the table. He leaned in closely toward Iruka, his eye narrowed. Iruka paused, his fork halfway to his mouth. Kakashi raised a brow, drumming the fingers of his other hand on the tabletop. Was it just him, or did Iruka look decidedly nervous?

"Well, it can only be moved by a matching chakra signature," the younger nin explained slowly. A faint blush colored his cheeks and Kakashi blinked. Iruka _was _uneasy about it.

"That's not your chakra on the rock," Kakashi countered instantly. He'd know Iruka's chakra anywhere.

"No," the chunin replied as he prodded absently at a scallop with the tines of his fork. "It's keyed in to respond to certain specific chakras, though."

"Is this something Kotetsu did?" The older man couldn't keep the curiosity from his voice. He recognized that type of jutsu and mentally hit himself for not realizing that's what it was before. It was a fairly high-level technique, though, and he didn't realize his love's best friend had that sort of ability. It took an incredible amount of control to key an object to be usable by only specific a chakra signature; it took even more control to sync it to someone else's chakra at the same time. It was the same basic idea as the wards Kakashi had placed on their apartment that allowed himself and Iruka to come and go freely but would stop anyone else from breaking in.

"Ah, no." Iruka shook his head. He rubbed at his facial scar subconsciously before sitting back a little on his cushion. "Genma did it."

"Genma?" Now Kakashi was confused. "The tokubetsu?" The jonin turned slightly in his seat to gaze at the innocuous-looking rock.

Iruka made a sound of confirmation as he started eating again. "He's not just good at throwing senbon," the instructor explained between bites. "Eat. Your dinner is going to get cold," he added scoldingly, pointing at Kakashi's neglected meal with a finger. Obediently, the jonin picked up his own silverware and started eating. "Anyway, Genma is quite skilled at chakra manipulation."

"Why in the world," Kakashi asked after mulling over the information he'd been given, "did he key an ugly rock so that only you and 'Tetsu could pick it up?"

Iruka pursed his lips. "Not just 'Tetsu and myself. Gen, 'Zumo-"

There was a startling knock on the front door, breaking into their conversation. Frowning, Kakashi set his fork aside and went to answer it, snapping his mask into place as he walked. It took him half a second to disarm the wards before he pulled the door open. He blinked at the broad grin that met him. "Anko?"

"Kashi-baby," she purred, leaning languidly against the doorjamb.

He did his best to not rise to the comment; she knew how much it irritated him to be called that, especially by her. Instead, he crossed his arms and raised his visible brow. "Can we help you with something?"

The purple-haired woman pouted. The expression would have probably melted a straight man but it had absolutely no effect on Kakashi. He waited silently for her to get to the point so he could get back to dinner.

The kunoichi sighed almost dramatically and squeezed her way into the apartment. She waved a hand at Iruka and eyed the food with interest. "Oh, good!" she chirped. "From that look you gave me I'd thought I'd interrupted some hot man-love in action." She waggled her eyebrows at both the men.

Iruka made an exasperated noise in the back of his throat and sent the young woman a pointed glare. "What did you need, Anko?"

"Hm," she started, putting a finger to her chin as she slowly walked around their living room. Her eyes darted around as if she were looking for something. Kakashi furrowed his brow at her, suspicious of her motives. As if sensing the glower, she paused and looked back at him. Her eyes widened slightly and she grinned. "Ah ha!" Anko strode purposefully toward Kakashi and he tensed, unsure what her motivation could possible be. He was surprised when she walked behind him and snagged the Gods-Awful rock from the table.

"Wha-" he started, looking between the tokubetsu and the chunin. Anko promptly cut him off with a wicked grin.

"The Rusty Bucket," she announced with a giggle. Without another word, she darted from the apartment, leaving a very confused Kakashi staring at the open door.

Slowly, the jonin turned to look at his lover. "Anko can pick up the rock." It wasn't really a question but Iruka nodded anyway.

"Anko can pick up the rock," he confirmed, taking another bite of the pasta. "Your food is getting cold."

Annoyed, Kakashi closed the front door and nearly threw himself down onto his cushion. He wanted to go after the kunoichi but he knew that would have been pointless; if his chakra wasn't linked to the stone, he wouldn't have been able to lift it to bring it back to Iruka. Utterly frustrated, he attacked his food with vigor, eating faster than he knew was necessary.

A hand on his shoulder caused him to pause and he glanced up at the bland expression on his chunin's face. "It's just a game," Iruka told him gently. "Something we've played for a while now to keep things interesting."

"Over a hideous rock?" Kakashi returned, although the light touch from his love had a calming effect. He set his fork down and rubbed a hand over his visible eye.

"You try working the desk every day," Iruka returned, although his voice was good-humored. "It's a little boring without a challenge to keep us going."

Kakashi shrugged with his other shoulder. "So, who else can lift that stupid thing?"

"That's it." Iruka let go of the jonin and went back to his dinner. "Gen, 'Zumo, 'Tetsu, Anko, and myself." The younger man chewed thoughtfully. "If it really bothers you, just think of it as similar to one of Guy's challenges, except with more people and a lot fewer manly tears."

Kakashi found himself chuckling at that. "Okay. You have your fun but I do have one request."

"Hm?" Iruka paused his chewing and raised his eyebrows.

"Don't bring that thing home anymore. I don't want Anko in the house."

Iruka laughed. "I'll try to leave it at work."

* * *

Kakashi slouched into the missions room the next day, his report stuffed down the front of his flak jacket. It was fairly busy for a Saturday afternoon and the jonin queued up in the line he knew was Iruka's. It moved at a steady pace and it wasn't long before he was grinning down at the upturned face of his lover.

"Mornin'," Kakashi greeted.

Iruka's eyebrow quirked. "It's two in the afternoon." A tanned hand stretched out expectantly and Kakashi obligingly pulled the crinkled report from under his vest. He passed it over, his eye arching up in a cheeky grin at the downtrodden face Iruka made when the chunin attempted to smooth out the crumpled sheet of paper. "I watched you fill this out!" the younger ninja exclaimed, waving a hand at the poor excuse for a mission report that sat in front of him. "It was done and tidy last night! Is this _jam?" _He lifted the paper to his nose and sniffed at a sticky red stain adorning the paper.

"Preserves, actually." Kakashi grinned wider at the glare his chunin sent him. "I thought it was a nice touch."

Iruka grumbled something under his breath that sounded a lot like "I'll give you a touch but it's not going to be nice," that sent a shiver of excitement up Kakashi's spine. He liked it when Iruka was bossy in bed. Louder, the dark-haired shinobi tapped the messy report with a long finger. "I should make you redo this."

"Ah, but you won't." Kakashi shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned over so he was nose to nose with Iruka. They stared hard at each other for a long moment before Iruka's composure broke. A small smirk ghosted across his features and he sighed, looking down to stamp the report as complete. Kakashi planted a masked kiss on the teacher's hitai-ate - a move that caused a couple standers-by to make teasing "ooooo" noises - and then straightened his back into his typical lazy slump.

"What else do you have for me?" Kakashi continued as if nothing had happened. Iruka started pawing through a stack of missions, humming under his breath as he shook his head at a couple of the jobs.

"Not much," Iruka replied with a frown. "Most of these are B-ranked escort missions. If you're that bored, I can give you one. Otherwise, there's one A-ranked object retrieval, an A-ranked escort, and..." He rifled through the sheets quickly. "Ah! Here we go." He pulled a sheet out from the pile and passed it to Kakashi. "Lord Takanomi wants a jonin to place protective wards all over his compound. He's convinced someone wants to kill him."

The Copy-Nin eyed the mission, frowning. "That guy is just a paranoid old coot. Doesn't he order new wards every three weeks?"

"Yep." Iruka sat back in his chair, an amused smile playing on his lips. "He claims that if he has them changed often, it'll prevent the inevitable assassins from being able to get in."

"This is below my abilities," Kakashi said next. He moved to hand the mission back to Iruka but his lover shook his head firmly.

"We need a new washing machine. Do that one; it pays the most."

Kakashi sighed irritatedly, eyeing the easy mission with distaste. It was considered A-rank only because the insane lord had requested a jonin specifically to do the work. It did pay an exorbitant amount, though. Iruka was right; the payment would pay for the new appliance and then some.

"Fine," he ground out, folding the mission sheet in quarters before shoving it into the pocket of his pants. "But when I get back from this, I expect something a little more befitting my skills."

"I'm sure I can come up with something that you're qualified to do." The mischievous look in Iruka's eyes brought a flutter of anticipation to Kakashi's stomach. The unspoken innuendo was definitely not lost on the Copy-Nin.

"Be sure that you do. I'll be back by this evening and I'll be sorely disappointed if you haven't dug up a more suitable mission," he teased. "Perhaps something that will test my stamina?"

"If you two are done playing visual grab-ass, some of us have reports to turn in!" a voice from behind Kakashi snapped impatiently.

The silver-haired shinobi glanced slowly over his shoulder at the other ninja. He didn't recognize the man and dismissed him immediately, the single gray eye showing the disregard clearly. He returned his gaze to Iruka and opened his mouth to speak when he was abruptly cut off by a commotion that had broken out a few seats down.

"I tell ya it's the same place!" Anko hollered. Of all things, she held the feathered paperweight above her head. Izumo was trying to reach it over the top of his desk, going as far as to start to climb over the table.

"It is _not_," Izumo argued, making a snatch for the rock as he finally vaulted across the top of the mission desk. He was only slightly taller than the kunoichi and she was doing a very good job of playing keep-away as he tried to grab the paperweight.

"Is too." Anko stuffed the rock down her mesh shirt with a smug grin. "So this still belongs to me."

Izumo didn't seem deterred by her actions, though, and actually tried to dive his hand down Anko's top to get the gaudy rock. His actions caused the room to break into an uproar as shinobi, bored from standing in lines, yelled a variety of jeers and encouragement at the grappling pair. All thoughts of turning in missions were thrown out the window as Izumo succeeded in getting one of his hands under Anko's shirt.

"Eh, watch whatcha grabbin'!" the tokobetsu barked as Izumo struggled to snag the stone. Her words were met with appreciative laughter from many of the male members of the room. Kakashi merely rolled his eyes and chanced a glance at Iruka. He had the sudden urge to get a head-start on his new mission when he saw the boiling rage on the younger man's face. Iruka did _not _like chaos in his mission room.

The chunin stood suddenly, his chair clattering to the ground behind him. Within three seconds, he had crossed the room, removed Izumo from Anko's shirt, spun the kunoichi around to sit in a vacant chair against the wall, and gotten possession of the paperweight. Kakashi never ceased to be amazed at the speed and efficiency in which his chunin moved to accomplish a goal, especially if that goal was to break up a fight. Years as an instructor at the Academy had honed the younger man's abilities to an art.

Iruka glared the other two into silence as both Izumo and Anko started to protest. Without a word to either, he carried the paperweight back to his station and shoved it into the haversack sitting by the table leg. He righted his chair and sat with a huff. A dark scowl corralled the room back into order, shinobi rushing to re-queue. The dark eyes landed on Kakashi and the jonin blinked back lazily, not letting his sudden unease show.

"Mission. Washing machine. Go," Iruka growled.

Kakashi threw him a sardonic salute and a muttered, "Yes, Sir" before he gathered his chakra and poofed out of the room. It was definitely not a good idea to disobey Iruka when the chunin was that angry. At least Kakashi would be gone all afternoon on his daft ward-setting mission. He hoped that by the time he returned, Iruka would be in a much improved mood and maybe Kakashi could get some much-desired loving.

* * *

**AN: **Meh, it might be slightly crack-y. Sorry about that.


End file.
